banner
leaf

leaf

It is better to manage the army than to manage the people. And the enemy.
follow
substack
tg_channel

Strategy + Tactics

An important strategy is to only collaborate with reliable people and stay away from those who are not, as this can save a lot of time and energy. Do not try to "make others reliable," as this is almost impossible.

If we view life through an investment mindset:

  1. Creativity is the most important asset;
  2. Time is the core resource;
  3. Social relationships are the most powerful leverage;
  4. Health issues are the biggest risk exposure.

Therefore, we need to build such an investment strategy:

  1. In assets, we should continuously invest to generate a steady cash flow in the future;

  2. In resources, we need to strictly monitor and measure the input-output ratio each week.

  3. In leverage, we should pay attention to the source of profits and losses, building a high-quality interpersonal network.

  4. In risk, we must firmly uphold the bottom line and stay away from anything that harms our physical and mental health.

Learning also has a significant meaning for me personally: during the learning process, you may discover what you truly like and excel at. Before the college entrance examination, very few people can truly view this issue correctly; instead, in university, with a broader perspective and breathing space, one can truly think and explore.

The universal skills that must be learned are: knowing when you need to update, how to update, and ensuring that you can successfully update.

To implement in life, you can thoughtfully consider the answers to these 20 questions:
① Who knows the correct answer but has been overlooked by me due to poor communication?

② If I were born in another country or era, which of my current views would I disagree with?

③ What things do I believe to be true simply because I want them to be, even if they are obviously false?

④ What issues do I think only occur in other countries, industries, or professions, but ultimately impact me?

⑤ What things do I take for granted as true, but are actually products of clever marketing?

⑥ What things do I believe without firsthand experience, leading to ignorance about how they operate?

⑦ What things seem unsustainable but are actually new trends we have yet to accept?

⑧ Who do I think is very understanding, but is actually full of nonsense?

⑨ Am I prepared to face risks that I cannot foresee?

⑩ If the incentives change, which of my current views would also change?

⑪ What things are we currently overlooking that will seem extremely obvious in the future?

⑫ What events, which are just a step away from happening, will completely change the world as I know it once they occur?

⑬ How much of my achievements is contributed by things I cannot control?

⑭ How do I know if I am patient (a strength) or stubborn (a weakness)?

⑮ What admired individuals actually have a tragic, unknown side?

⑯ What troubles I wish to avoid are actually the costs of success?

⑰ What so-called genius role models I admire are actually just crazy?

⑱ What strong beliefs I hold are most likely to change?

⑲ What things are eternally true?

⑳ What things remain unchanged?

Thus, slowly becoming wealthy is a great wisdom in life, as only it can bring inner peace. Everything else is external; only the inner self belongs to you.

  1. Understanding the background of the problem
    To grasp the essence of a problem, we first need to understand its background. Understanding the background can help us better comprehend the ins and outs of the problem and find its source.

When encountering a problem, we need to understand its background from various aspects. First, we need to know the time, place, people, and reasons for the problem. Second, we need to understand the impact and consequences of the problem, as well as its importance and influence on work.

Understanding the background of the problem can help us gain a more comprehensive understanding of the situation and more accurately identify the essence of the problem.

  1. Analyzing the surface of the problem
    After understanding the background of the problem, we need to further analyze its surface. The surface of the problem refers to the observable phenomena, which are the problems we can see. Analyzing the surface can help us gain a clearer understanding of the situation and identify the patterns and characteristics of the problem.

When encountering a problem, we need to analyze its surface. First, we need to understand the phenomena, manifestations, and characteristics of the problem. Second, we need to analyze the frequency of occurrence, scope of impact, and degree of influence of the problem. This way, we can gain a clearer understanding of the situation and better identify the essence of the problem.

  1. Finding the root cause of the problem
    After understanding the background and analyzing the surface of the problem, we need to find its root cause. The root cause refers to the deep-seated reasons that lead to the problem. Only by identifying the root cause can we better solve the problem.

When encountering a problem, we need to find its root cause. First, we need to ask ourselves what caused this problem and why it occurred. Second, we need to analyze the influencing factors of the problem and identify the deep-seated reasons that led to its occurrence.

Finding the root cause can help us better solve the problem and grasp its essence.

  1. Methods for solving the problem
    After identifying the root cause, we need to adopt appropriate methods to solve the problem. The methods for solving the problem need to comprehensively consider the characteristics, root causes, and actual situations of the problem to find the optimal solution.

The methods for solving the problem can be divided into the following steps:

Formulating goals and plans for solving the problem
After identifying the root cause, we need to formulate goals and plans for solving the problem. The goal of solving the problem refers to the result we want to achieve; the plan refers to the specific measures we will take.

When formulating goals and plans, we need to consider the nature, scale, and impact of the problem, as well as the actual situation to ensure the feasibility and practicality of the plan.

Implementing the solution
Once the goals and plans for solving the problem are formulated, we need to start implementing the plan. Implementation should follow the steps to ensure that each link is effectively executed.

Implementation needs to consider limitations in time, personnel, and resources, while also paying attention to the connections and coordination between various links to ensure the smooth progress of the entire implementation process.

Monitoring and evaluating the effectiveness of the solution
After implementing the solution, we need to monitor and evaluate to ensure that the desired results are achieved. Monitoring and evaluation should be conducted from multiple aspects, including implementation progress, effectiveness assessment, and cost control.

The results of monitoring and evaluation can help us better understand the effectiveness of the solution, allowing us to adjust and improve the plan to ensure the optimal resolution of the problem.

  1. Summary and reflection
    After solving the problem, we need to summarize and reflect on the entire process to better accumulate experience and lessons, providing references for future work.

Summarizing and reflecting should consider the effectiveness of the solution, the feasibility and practicality of the plan, as well as the shortcomings and lessons learned during the entire process. It is also important to summarize experiences to better cope with similar problems in the future.

The classic statements in Epictetus' "The Enchiridion" are worth reading whenever you have time, as they can truly help you become more peaceful and positive.

Control
To achieve happiness and freedom, one must understand this principle: some things we can control, and others we cannot. Only by facing this basic principle and learning to distinguish what you can control from what you cannot can you attain inner peace and outer efficiency.

Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. #enchiridion 1

Freedom
It is not the events themselves that harm us, but our perceptions of those events. The events themselves do not harm or hinder us, nor do others. What truly makes us fearful and anxious is not the external events themselves, but the way we think about them. What disturbs us is not the things themselves, but our interpretations of their meanings.

The world does not conform to our expectations. Things happen as they should, and people act as they will.

Freedom is not the right or ability to do whatever one wants. Freedom comes from understanding the limits of one's own power and the natural limits set by the universe. By accepting the limits and inevitability of life without resisting them, we can attain freedom.

Remember, it is not he who gives ill language or a blow that insults, but the principle which represents these things as insulting. Therefore, when anyone provokes you, be assured that it is your own opinion which provokes you. #enchiridion 20

If you ever happen to turn your attention to externals, so as to wish to please anyone, be assured that you have ruined your scheme of life. #enchiridion 23

Understanding Stoicism - Selected Quotes

Gains and Losses
Take good care of what you have. We do not truly lose anything, nor does anything get lost. When we stop saying "I lost it" and instead say "it has returned to its original place," we gain inner peace. Is your child gone? He has simply returned to where he was before coming into this world. Has your partner passed away? He (or she) has merely returned to the original place. Has your property been taken away? It has returned to where it came from.

Do not care about how others perceive you. They are often deceived and blinded by appearances. Stick to your goals. Just this alone can strengthen your will and make your life coherent.

While he gives it to you to possess, take care of it; but don't view it as your own, just as travelers view a hotel. #enchiridion 11

**Consider when, on a voyage, your ship is anchored; if you go on shore to get water you may along the way amuse yourself with picking up a shell or an onion. However, your thoughts and continual attention ought to be bent towards the ship, waiting for the captain to call on board; you must then immediately leave all these things, otherwise you will be thrown into the ship, bound neck and feet like a sheep. So it is with life. #enchiridion 7

Nature
The will of nature is revealed through the common daily experiences of all people. For example, when the neighbor's child breaks a bowl or other similar items, we easily say, "This happened." Therefore, when your bowl is broken, you should respond in the same way, just as you would if someone else's bowl were broken. This understanding should be extended to those more significant worldly matters that concern us deeply.

Life is not a series of random and meaningless events, but an orderly and beautiful whole that follows ultimately understandable laws.

Don't demand that things happen as you wish, but wish that they happen as they do happen, and you will go on well. #enchiridion 8

Habits
Every habit and ability is maintained and strengthened through corresponding behaviors: the habit of walking makes us better walkers, and frequent running makes us better runners.

Be clear about what kinds of thoughts or ideas you allow into your mind. If you do not choose what to accept, others will choose for you, and their motives may not be noble.

Detachment
View life as attending a banquet, where your behavior should be elegant and appropriate. When a dish is passed to you, you may reach out and take a portion, but in moderation; if the dish merely passes by you, enjoy the food already on your plate; if the dish has not yet reached you, you should patiently wait.

Do not compare yourself to others, nor to the ideal version of yourself. Human perfection is gradual and requires a process of making progress and setbacks.

Look at those children who reach into a narrow-necked bottle, trying with all their might to pull out the nuts and figs inside. If they grasp a handful, they cannot pull their hands out, which makes them cry. "Don't take so much, and you can pull your hand out." You too should let go of your desires and not covet so many things, so that you can gain something.

Remember that you must behave in life as at a dinner party. Is anything brought around to you? Put out your hand and take your share with moderation. Does it pass by you? Don't stop it. Is it not yet come? Don't stretch your desire towards it, but wait till it reaches you. #enchiridion 15

Reason
Clear thinking is not an art that demands coldness or indifference. The task of reason is to critically examine our assumptions, including the explanations we provide and the methods by which we arrive at those explanations. Reason is not an end in itself but an indispensable means. Questioning is the driving force of reason, so you need to learn to ask questions rationally rather than emotionally. If the ability to think clearly is impaired, your moral life will become chaotic. Reason can distinguish truth from falsehood and differentiate the levels of truth.

The hallmark of good reasoning is clarity, consistency, rigor, precise definitions, and lack of ambiguity.

When walking, you are careful not to step on a nail or turn your foot; so likewise be careful not to hurt the ruling faculty of your mind. #enchiridion 38

Original Intention
The wisest among us understand the natural limits of our knowledge and have the courage to maintain their childlike nature.

The first step toward wisdom is the hardest because our fragile and stubborn hearts fear exhaustion (not to mention the uncertainty of reward) and the unfamiliar. When you make progress through effort, your determination will strengthen, and self-improvement will gradually become easier.

Personal value does not originate externally. It cannot be found in your interactions with others or in their opinions. Others, even those who love you, may not necessarily agree with your views, understand you, or share your passions. Grow up! Who cares what others think of you! You have your own work to do. Start doing it now and do your best, regardless of who is watching.

According to divine arrangement, each of us has our own calling. Listen to the call of the divine and faithfully follow it. Be realistic about yourself. Clearly assess your strengths and weaknesses.

Meaning
We must accept education not to change the composition of things, but to harmonize our will with what happens after seeing the true nature of the things around us. For we have not been given the ability to change the structure of things, nor will things become better because of it.

For outside the realm of will, nothing can obstruct or harm a person's will. If he seeks his "good" only within the limits of what he can control and unobstructed, he will attain freedom, peace, happiness, nobility, and piety, and he will be grateful to God for the achievements of all things, without nitpicking anything.

You are no longer a boy, but a grown man. If, therefore, you will be negligent and slothful, and always add procrastination to procrastination, purpose to purpose, and fix day after day in which you will attend to yourself, you will insensibly continue without proficiency, and, living and dying, persevere in being one of the vulgar. This instant, then, think yourself worthy of living as a grown man and a proficient. Let whatever appears to be the best be to you an inviolable law. And if any instance of pain or pleasure, or glory or disgrace, is set before you, remember that now is the combat, now the Olympiad comes on, nor can it be put off. #enchiridion 50

Self-Cultivation

Ordinary parents, even without extensive academic backgrounds and professional observational training, can help us transcend parenting books and experts through random but continuous observation, independently and confidently solving most parenting challenges.
Every child has a unique growth secret; respecting the child's developmental pace is more important than feeling anxious if they are slower than others or giving excessive praise if they are faster.
Each year, write a letter to your child to record the changes and constants in your parenting philosophy. This is, in my opinion, the best gift you can give them.
Spend time with your child, and also give time to cultivate yourself. By going to bed early with your child, you can wake up earlier to study and write.
Create an email account for your child, preferably a Gmail account, and write at least one letter to them each year, naming it the "Time Flies" series; I have already written up to 04.
All parents hope for their children to improve; the extreme cases are called "tiger parents." In fact, "tiger parenting" is just an anxious action stemming from the unknown, as there is so much uncertainty about the child's future, leading to a desire to do everything possible. The solution is to first acknowledge your "tiger parenting" tendencies and then alleviate anxiety through self-learning.
What parents understand as the best is not necessarily what children need as the best. What children understand as the best is what is most suitable for them at their current stage, just like a two-year-old child does not want money, but seaweed. What children need most is cognitive satisfaction that is just within their growth range, which requires continuous observation and companionship from parents to know.
Parents cannot always provide the best for their children; they can only teach them how to strive for what they want.
A child's growth is about learning to trust their parents in different ways.
A hallmark of good family education is that children do not take fame or wealth as their life goals.
Learning is the child's responsibility, not the parents' or teachers'. I will wake the child up, but I will not carry their backpack. Tell the child that studying is their responsibility, and carrying the backpack is also their responsibility. Similarly, packing the backpack is their responsibility, doing homework is their responsibility, and being late for school is also their responsibility.
Educating others is also educating oneself; whether you can practice what you preach gives the child a role model. If I can do it, I demonstrate it to the child, and I believe the child can do it too. The child is a projection of yourself; how you are is likely how the child will be. What you cannot do, do not force the child to do either.
Do not emphasize or agree with the metaphor "the sea of learning is endless, and hard work is the boat," as this metaphor will lead children to accept the fate of "learning is hard, but there is no escape." Find ways to help children enjoy the joy of learning.
Subtly encourage children to strive in certain directions, but never punish them for not excelling in a particular field.
Tell children they do not need to please their parents. Children may ask their parents, "Did I perform well today?" You can say, "You did well, but you are not good just to make mom and dad happy; you want to become a better version of yourself."
Cultivating children's more fundamental and long-term abilities is more important. In a child's life, these three skills are the most important: cognitive ability, technical ability, and interpersonal ability. Cognitive ability relates to concepts, such as reading and writing (judgment and choice ability), and acquiring knowledge to satisfy curiosity; technical ability relates to things, such as mathematics and programming (calculation and analysis ability), learning the joy of solving problems and creating products; communication ability relates to people, communication (expressive ability, the core is storytelling), participating in social organizations and collaborative operations.
The three most important abilities for parents are: the ability to prioritize the importance of tasks; the ability to not fear making mistakes but to avoid repeating them; and the ability to communicate and empathize.
Reading poetry, writing poetry, practicing handwriting, reading Jin Yong novels, classical literature, and historical records can help improve a child's writing ability.

Family Education

Do not proactively enroll children in various interest classes, but take them to see various interest classes to enhance their classification knowledge of the world. Tell children that most of the foundational knowledge taught in interest classes can be learned by themselves.
Early family education is more important than school education; cultivating a child's self-learning habit is more important than relying on teachers for supervision.
Do not overly prevent children from doing something; instead, assume they will do it and ask what you can do to bear and remedy it. Only what you cannot bear should you try to prevent as much as possible. Assume your child will get lost in Douyin, become addicted to games, or be engrossed in novels. All addictions are a necessary part of growth, and parents must be prepared accordingly, rather than pretending their child is not an ordinary person.
Children yearn to participate in the adult world; when possible, let them assist you. More exciting than playing puzzles for children is doing things like shopping, washing cars, and cooking alongside adults.
When children are daydreaming, tirelessly playing alone with great interest, do not interrupt them, and also prevent others from interrupting; this greatly helps cultivate their focus.
Parents find it hard to enter their child's inner world, but they can patiently observe their child's behavior to make judgments, capturing their personality strengths and providing positive encouragement, which unlocks the code to stimulate their inner strength.
Communicate with children, acknowledge and accept their emotions, validate their feelings, and then guide them toward change.
Ideally, from birth, give the child an independent room to create an environment where they can operate independently. Through the items in this environment, help them live authentically and build their identity. If conditions do not allow, you can designate a part of a room exclusively for the child, allowing them to engage in activities freely, such as taking apart toys, twisting screws, reading, or lying down while eating sweet potato chips...
Ensure that early reading for children is not painful; only then can they happily return to reading now and in the future.
Buy a dictionary for your child; if they do not understand something, they can look it up. Once the child discovers this habit, they will follow suit in the future.
Learning is a lifelong endeavor; surpassing others is not important; continuously surpassing oneself is more worthy of encouragement. The most important thing in family education is not to let children lose interest in learning, as that is an irretrievable failure.
If a child wants to play with you, engage wholeheartedly with them; this is also a method of observation. When the child feels your full presence, you will have more time to observe.
Reading aloud is the cheapest, simplest, and most effective means of family education. Very few children will spontaneously love reading; usually, someone must lead them into the wonderful world of books. If the kindergarten does not have a reading program, be cautious in your selection.
Demonstrate to children that education and learning are an infinite game; parents should not focus on momentary comparisons with other children or siblings, nor should they obsess over reading levels, math skills, and exam scores. Teach children to play this infinite game by participating alongside them.
Every child has a unique growth secret; respect their developmental pace, and do not feel anxious if they are slower than others or give excessive praise if they are faster.
Education is not about teaching children to memorize but about helping them understand. It is not about instilling knowledge but about igniting the child's desire to explore new knowledge.

School Education

The complexity of parenting lies in establishing a trust chain among three roles. The first is the authority of the teacher. For example, in the fifth-tier city where I live, I feel that the best public elementary school here may not do better than I do, but I have to accept that once a child discovers that a teacher may not be right, and if the teacher does not acknowledge it, how can trust be established among the three parties? The second is the school's philosophy. The best two private elementary schools have one characterized by red culture, while the other is teaching the "Discipleship Rules." Should children trust the school or their parents? The third is the child's educational goals. I let the child set their own learning goals, but will the school agree? Will the teacher agree?
Under geographical limitations, children have no choice in teachers; they often only know that their teacher is the best. If there were a teacher version of Yelp, knowing what makes the best teacher good, but in reality, even if you knew, you still could not choose. Educating children is similar to economics, figuring out how to optimize allocation under scarce or limited resources. Educating children is also similar to home decoration, making the best temporary or possibly permanent compromises under perpetual financial constraints.
The earliest compulsory education came from Prussia, teaching patriotic education, and now, on this basis, academic education has been added. Our education aims to cultivate successors of socialism; you must deeply understand this.
Parents greatly overestimate their influence on children, but in fact, the peer group has a greater impact on the development of a child's personality.
Teachers cannot attend to every child; if your learning pace is faster than most, imagine you and the teacher are on the same team, and you need to cooperate with the teacher's work.
Do not accept the nonsense from training institutions about winning at the starting line; that is a short-distance metaphor encouraging you to consume. Life should be a marathon; those who sprint ahead may win now, but that does not mean they will continue to win later; in fact, most people cannot persist.
A phrase that should often be on your lips: "You are doing great; it doesn't matter if you didn't come in first." I do not care if you are smart; I only care if you are working hard enough.
What teachers say is not necessarily correct; the education you receive at school is limited.
The methods teachers use to teach are not necessarily right; you can use the time for homework (provided you already know how to do it) to listen to how other teachers teach. Now, it is very inexpensive to listen to famous teachers from Huanggang, Beijing, and Shanghai; I will buy a few courses from renowned teachers for you to see how they teach. Their lessons may be better and easier to understand than your teacher's.
There is no distinction between textbooks and extracurricular books; this concept is a hard definition created by schools for the majority, and this distinction will limit your learning. Do not accept it, nor pay attention to it.
If a teacher does something wrong, as a father, I may scold the teacher, but in most cases, I may also coexist peacefully with the teacher because I, you, and the teacher are all on the same team, and our goal is to help you grow better.
I may not proactively enroll you in various interest classes, but I will take you to see various interest classes to enhance your classification knowledge of the world. I will tell you that most of the foundational knowledge taught in interest classes can be learned by yourself.
The best teacher may not be in the best school. The best teacher may not be the one who teaches best.
Loading...
Ownership of this post data is guaranteed by blockchain and smart contracts to the creator alone.